Second chance

**second chance**

I say there’s no second chance in life. And trust me—I learned this the hard way. I’m sharing this so you won’t have to go through the same. It’s not easy for me to open up, but here’s to the beginning of my self-healing journey.

As part of the NESST Youth Ambassador Program 2024/25, I had been attending biweekly virtual meetings with the Smithsonian Institute. Fast forward to June this year—life was going pretty smoothly. I was meeting amazing people, completing my mountain bike guide training, and building great connections. I was riding a dopamine high.

Then came an email from Surasma, another youth ambassador from Nepal. She asked if I knew we were invited to attend a 3-day conference. I was surprised—like, “Oh boy, this is getting real now.” We applied, following several emails from both the US and Nepal.

Then came the visa interview. I messed up. I didn’t get the visa.

Being me, I thought, “It’s okay, I’ll apply again.” But trust me, this process hasn’t been easy. I emailed them saying I wouldn’t be attending because I didn’t get the visa, and asked if I could reapply. They replied, “Oh Taniya, that’s so sad. It’s okay—we’ll try to bring you in on another kind of visa. Please don’t do anything until instructed.”

So I waited. And waited. And waited.

Phone on. Network on. Gmail open. That constant checking led to anxiety. I didn’t want to mess this up. I asked them what was going on, and they said, “We’re working on it.”

After a month, I got a reply—finally, some progress. They asked me to fill out a DocuSign form so they could issue a J-1 visa. I filled it out and submitted it, after weeks of digging through Gmail for the info I didn’t have on hand.

And now? The cycle continues. The wait feels endless. I haven’t heard anything from them, and it’s getting tiring. I’m kind of losing my peace. But hey—who told you to mess up?

I don’t know if my story will end like a fairytale or stay stuck in reality. But one good thing is that I got to experience how real US visa interviews work, and I’ve learned how to deal with them next time. Situations are always uncertain.

People say there’s a second chance in life. But I say—there isn’t. Because life can be brutal.

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## **How I’m Handling It**

Honestly, I haven’t been well—not until now. I’ve learned a lot from the restlessness and the emotional rollercoaster. When you’re riding a dopamine high, it’s easy to mess things up. I’ve realized I need to be more open—not just about silly things, but also when I need help. I need to ask questions, seek opinions, and deal with situations one step at a time.

There was a lot going on, but now I know: if I’m ever given a second chance, I can handle it better than my past self. I’ve learned the hard way not to get too deeply indulged in something without clarity or preparation.

I’m really thankful to Sofia, another applicant who also didn’t get her visa. I’m sure it was frustrating for her too, but she comforted me. She said, “We got this,” and reminded me not to overthink it. “If it’s meant for you, it’s going to happen—so just let it be.”

So now, I’m trying to let go of this. Slowly. Gently. One breath at a time.